it's love...isn't it?

It's such a wonderful feeling when you fall in love for the first time. The sky seems to be very clear, the birds seem to be singing for you, all the flowers seem to be blooming, and everything around you seems to be more beautiful and colorful. You can't stop smiling and you always look forward to each coming day. Of course you would because you'll be seeing him again today, being his usual handsome self. You feel on edge because he's not around yet but then the room brightens up and you know in your heart that he has arrived. Your gaze would be pulled to him then time seems to have stopped. Everything becomes a blur and all you can see is him. *sigh*


But wait, it gets better! You would soon find out that he feels the same way, only he's too shy to tell you that. You'll soon have hopes that something might happen between you two. That will inspire you more and will try to do things to get closer to him. Then you'll start talking to each other. It was perfect bliss! He finally gathers enough courage to ask you out but then you wake up to the reality that you have more important priorities right now. This would hurt him but you didn't know how much.


A few days later, you'll learn that he already found someone else. It would come as a great shock to you. The things you once thought to be your priority doesn't seem to be that important anymore. All you could think about is him and where everything went wrong. You start to wonder if you've made the right decision. You have a lot of questions that you don't know how to answer. Why was he with another girl so soon? Did he already forget you? Was he ever really serious about you in the first place? Or is it just for revenge? Depression maybe?


You never got the chance to talk again. You start to try moving on by dating other guys while he does the same thing. But your relationships don't last long. You get easily disappointed by your partner's mistakes and breaks up. Some years have passed but you still haven't found the right person yet. Is he like that too? Then you start to reminisce, wondering what could've happened if you gave your love a chance. Would you still be together right now? You suddenly get confused about your feelings. Do you still have feelings for him?


Is it love? Or are you just in love with the idea of love? It may be possible that you only think you love him. You force yourself to believe that you still love him because you miss being in love. You want to feel again what you felt when you fell for him. But then, why are you having such a hard time looking for the right person to love? Why is it so hard to forget about him? Why is he different from the rest? What made him so special? Because he was your first love. It was the first time you felt those strange but pleasant feelings. It was the first time you treated someone as a very special part of your life.


It may be possible to pick up where you left off, provided that nobody would get hurt in the process. Just make sure that he was the same person you fell in love with. Years have passed and he may be a completely different person right now. If you can accept him in spite of the changes, then good. But of course you have to verify his feelings too. Does he really love you? Is he serious about you? Are you ready to experience the same pain all over again? Is he worth it?


If you don't love him anymore, then move on. He already did so you should as well. Don't dwell in the past. If you feel that you won't be able to move on because you had no closure, then talk to him. You have the right to know what really happened so that you could let go. I know it's easier said than done. But  you have to try. Take things slow and one step at a time. At least you are moving forward. Life is too short to waste on hang-ups. You can do it!

pain..

If it makes you sad, would you still do it? If it not only breaks your heart but crushes it like powder, would you still go for it? If it pains your chest so much it makes it hard for you to sleep at night, would you still pursue it?


Pain is subjective. This means that a person may perceive pain differently than others. What is painful to you may not be painful to the person next to you. We also have different pain threshold. This is the extent to which we can handle pain. These terms are applied to physical pain. But can it be used to refer to emotional pain as well? I believe it's possible. That's probably the reason why some people end up hurting others because they think that their actions won't inflict harm, based on their own perception or experience. What's good about emotional pain is that you can mask it. You could pretend every single day that you are happy although you're dying inside. You can tell everyone that you're happy and contented when in fact you aren't. The bad thing about emotional pain on the other hand is that it takes time to cure it. Physical pain can be cured through analgesics, but what about emotional pain? They say that all wounds heal in time. It's true, but why does emotional pain takes so long to heal, and one tiny event brings it back all over again?


Then again, pain always elicits a response from us. For example, when you get hurt from cutting your finger, you'll prevent that from happening again by avoiding activities that would lead to cutting your finger. You learn your lesson. What about pain from loving? Some people think of closing their hearts and not loving again so that they won't suffer anymore. This shouldn't be the case. According to a book I've read, people shouldn't be afraid to suffer because of love. I totally agree with him. Love is such a wonderful thing. It really makes the world go 'round. You can do marvelous things out of love. And also, love manifests itself in different forms: it could either be a love for a family, a friend, or even an enemy. Love may be accompanied with pain, but it is through love that you will learn how to forgive. The pain may still be there, but hey, you already made a big step forward. Pain also makes us stronger. It would give us the courage to move forward and try to be happy again; this time, for real.

my ptc sites

Here are the list of PTC (paid-to-click) sites i am currently into..


1. Bux4Real
   I like this site the most because they gave a $10 referral balance to the registering members. I was able to buy a referral pack and I earn a lot from them. The cashout minimum is also only $2 so it's really easy to earn.

2. Incentria
   This was the first site I was able to cashout from. It has a very low cashout minimum of $1. Initially, I was able to earn fast because I did a lot of paid-to-sign-up offers. Right now, it's taking a bit long but I still like this site because it is very consistent.

3. EasyHits4U
   The site actually runs mainly by promoting. You only get paid $0.03 after viewing 1000 sites. But the cashout minimum is only $3 so you don't need to really wait that long.

4. ClixSense
   The site is paying and it has been running for several years now. The only thing I didn't like about it is that tha payout minimum is $10. That is pretty difficult to achieve and it's taking me a while now. Well, they have a chance game wherein you have a chance to win as much as $5 but you only get 25 chances per day. So..that's it!

5. Clicksia
   This is a sister site of Incentria so they're almost the same.

6. MatrixMails
   MatrixMails' payout minimum is $3 but the ads are really few. You only get one or two ads per day so if you plan to earn money fast, this isn't the site you should go to.

7. InfinityBux
   This site is legit and you get to earn approximately $0.022 a day. The only con is that the payout minimum increases everytime you cashout.

8. BuxP
   BuxP has a lot of ads but the payout minimum is $17.99 for free members. It may look like you would be able to earn fast but you wouldn't. By the way, there's a cheat link at the bottom of the ads page that has a warning to not click. Follow that warning! Hahahahaha! I was so curious about whether it's true or not so I clicked it. Unfortunately, my balance was reset and the $0.05 bonus I had upon signing up disappeared. Also, there are adult sites but you can deactivate them so it's up to you.

9. WordLinx
   The site doesn't give much ads and aside from that, the payout minimum is $10. That's hard to earn considering that you could only earn $0.01 per day.

10. Hits4Pay
   This is a paid-to-read-emails site. They give $10 to starting members but the cashout minimum is $25. Also, the emails are really really few and each email is only worth $0.02 so I'm not expecting much from this site.

11. CashLagoon
   I literally do not earn from this site because I'm not qualified in the tasks. But there is a $ 0.01 and a 0.01 point bonus everytime you login and those points can be used to redeem prizes. The site also doesn't have a payout minimum so I was able to cashout my 1 cent right away. Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I earn through my referrals which I don't know where from. Hahahaha! But my referral clicks only once in a blue moon so it's pretty useless anyway.

Well, there you go! Hope this blog was helpful. :)

looking back..

i know some people might say that if ever they were given another chance to undo their past, they won't change anything because that's what made them who they are now..but if i were to answer the controversial question to ms. venus raj, i could probably think of a lot of things i would like to undo..these are the things that no matter what i do, won't be brought back anymore..i sometimes wish i never got to know some people, though it may seem unfair to them, because of those instances where i regretted my decisions..well, i probably don't like what i am now..a lot of people may not understand me, but this is what i really feel..but as if i don't know any better, i know that what i am thinking will never be possible..i should just appreciate the lessons i gained from these experiences especially the importance of making a decision..as what i've learned from a television show, there are different paths toward a decision..there is always a "what if" among every decision and a life very different from the one you chose..the future has a lot of faces..but because they call it future, it is something which cannot be seen..it changes every second and depends on every action we make..who knows, i might have a different future if i didn't write this blog and just made my homework at this very hour..it was my decision and i got nobody to blame for it..that is what a decision is all about..we should be responsible enough to face its consequences and just live up to it..

whatever happened to the philippines???

Well, i only encountered this once so I can't really say it happens everywhere. I was riding a jeepney to school when a motorcycle suddenly appeared from behind, going to the left side of the jeepney, trying to overtake. The jeepney signaled to the left first but then the motorcycle driver (MD) honked his horn very loudly. I thought that was the end of it but then the MD started talking to the jeepney driver (JD), telling him to stop at once, in a very angry manner. The JD ignored him and continued driving but when we reached Sta. Lucia, the MD was there, still very mad, and reported the JD to an MMDA officer.The MMDA officer approached the JD and asked him to get out of the jeepney. When he returned, he was already given a ticket with several violations. Then I heard from one of the passengers that one of the officers muttered to the ticketing officer to add more violations. I think it was really unfair. I may not be an expert in road rules and stuffs but I think the MD was the wrong one. As the other passengers were saying, he's brave because he's only on a motorcycle. And what was really funny was that the MMDA officers didn't even notice that the passenger of the MD doesn't have a helmet on. Does it really work that way? Just because there was a complaint about the JD and just because the MD looks more decent than the JD, they will blindly look in favor of the MD? What if the same thing is done to them? What would they feel? The problem is that they wanna look good and suck up to who they think is better. I was really disappointed by what happened. That was the time when I proved to myself that whatever is happening in our country today, it is the consequence of our own actions. The government or the administration is not the only one to blame, we are also responsible. But why blame? I think blaming is done by people who doesn't wanna admit that they also make mistakes. These people aren't responsible enough to acknowledge their shortcomings and the results of their decisions. What we need is change, a change that starts within ourselves. If every Filipino would start changing themselves, then I guess there is still hope for the Philippines and the next generation.