It's such a wonderful feeling when you fall in love for the first time. The sky seems to be very clear, the birds seem to be singing for you, all the flowers seem to be blooming, and everything around you seems to be more beautiful and colorful. You can't stop smiling and you always look forward to each coming day. Of course you would because you'll be seeing him again today, being his usual handsome self. You feel on edge because he's not around yet but then the room brightens up and you know in your heart that he has arrived. Your gaze would be pulled to him then time seems to have stopped. Everything becomes a blur and all you can see is him. *sigh*
But wait, it gets better! You would soon find out that he feels the same way, only he's too shy to tell you that. You'll soon have hopes that something might happen between you two. That will inspire you more and will try to do things to get closer to him. Then you'll start talking to each other. It was perfect bliss! He finally gathers enough courage to ask you out but then you wake up to the reality that you have more important priorities right now. This would hurt him but you didn't know how much.
A few days later, you'll learn that he already found someone else. It would come as a great shock to you. The things you once thought to be your priority doesn't seem to be that important anymore. All you could think about is him and where everything went wrong. You start to wonder if you've made the right decision. You have a lot of questions that you don't know how to answer. Why was he with another girl so soon? Did he already forget you? Was he ever really serious about you in the first place? Or is it just for revenge? Depression maybe?
You never got the chance to talk again. You start to try moving on by dating other guys while he does the same thing. But your relationships don't last long. You get easily disappointed by your partner's mistakes and breaks up. Some years have passed but you still haven't found the right person yet. Is he like that too? Then you start to reminisce, wondering what could've happened if you gave your love a chance. Would you still be together right now? You suddenly get confused about your feelings. Do you still have feelings for him?
Is it love? Or are you just in love with the idea of love? It may be possible that you only think you love him. You force yourself to believe that you still love him because you miss being in love. You want to feel again what you felt when you fell for him. But then, why are you having such a hard time looking for the right person to love? Why is it so hard to forget about him? Why is he different from the rest? What made him so special? Because he was your first love. It was the first time you felt those strange but pleasant feelings. It was the first time you treated someone as a very special part of your life.
It may be possible to pick up where you left off, provided that nobody would get hurt in the process. Just make sure that he was the same person you fell in love with. Years have passed and he may be a completely different person right now. If you can accept him in spite of the changes, then good. But of course you have to verify his feelings too. Does he really love you? Is he serious about you? Are you ready to experience the same pain all over again? Is he worth it?
If you don't love him anymore, then move on. He already did so you should as well. Don't dwell in the past. If you feel that you won't be able to move on because you had no closure, then talk to him. You have the right to know what really happened so that you could let go. I know it's easier said than done. But you have to try. Take things slow and one step at a time. At least you are moving forward. Life is too short to waste on hang-ups. You can do it!
